life is better...

I look over the last three or months with fear and longing...

...longing for the things that were familar, no matter how dangerous they were to my live
...and fear of the good things that lay along the horizon if I would only sack up and go on with my life...

I decided to good ahead and live every day with fear in hopes that things would get better..

*starts singing*
Reach out...
Hands in the air, don't care, just to what they're saying
Hang on...
Just keep on holding against hope that its gonna get better
Don't worry
There's no hurry
For you
For me
Everything's gonna come around...
Shine on...
Someone will listen
To you
To me
Someone gonna see it...

Genesis rocks...at least their old stuff (Duke was their last good album)

but I digress...

I wanted to run...but I couldn't do it...
I wanted to run away and join the Culinary Academy, be a pastry chef so you could see my ass on Food Networks making cakes...*giggles*
Jinge stopped me and talked me down...

Jinge: Finish...
Sique: but I don't like it...I suck at it...
Jinge: You already have a year in . Finish. Pay your loans. If you really can't take then,THEN, run away and make cakes.
Sique:....rumble,rumble,rumble...mutiny,mutiny,mutiny
Jinge: Stop that rumbling!
Sique:fuck you
Jinge, grinning:Later

I've decided to finish....rumbling all the way...reaching out... not caring
...hanging on...worrying a little...going a bit slower...
Shining On...
...and on...
...and on...
you see it, don't you...?