life from above, part deux

I'm in love...

...but not with the man who would do anything for me...

Trout, even now, would do anything I would ask him to, with the hope that i will marry him again...

...but I don't want to...but he makes my life secure...

...I don't have to worry because he has everything under control...

except for his temper...

...and his insecurity...

the things that poisoned what wouold have been a long and happy marriage.

I have never built a life by myself before...never had to face the troubles of life by myself before.

He always blocked the blows...for a price that became too high to pay.




I'm in love with a man believes that a life isn't lived unless you feel those blows.

So he stands beside me and makes sure I keep my footing,

listens when I cry in pain

sooths the wounds from the fights I find myself waging everyday, now a days

and looks forward to taking the next step with me...steady as I go.


...my question is...

why is this love better?

why do I feel closer to him that anyone save my children?

I'm tired and overworked every day...every God-damned day...

and still I feel stronger because he is there...

and what's his price?

a little of my time and to hear my laugh...

I shit you not.

with all of this happening, I hope I 'm strong enough when the other shoe drops.

*smiles*

...I'm in love...