...on the edge of the undiscovered country...

three days away...and counting.

A single woman I will become...I'm happy and at the same time, I mourn the fact that I will to do something that I've been fighting all my life:

Grow up.

Maturity has never been my strong suit...I rather enjoy being a certified female ManChild. And even with girls of my own, that was never a real problem, but I always had help, someone there to keep me on the straight and narrow...

But now I realize that I have outgrown him and my former life...in spite of myself, I have beome an adult.

I've fought and lost...and I'm surprised that accepting that is easier than the fighting ever was...

My life is complex, but that was mostly because I spent so much time fighting the true nature of my being instead of letting the former me die and welcoming the new life that has been laid out ahead of me...

Trout has begun to realize that too..his pleading has stopped and we are making plans for our lives apart...

I plan to celebrate after it gets finalized, but I know that the reason has changed...and so has the toast...

not to singlehood again...

not to having the "bum" out of my life....

not to having a chance to be with someone new...

its to adulthood...

maturity...

life with purpose...

and the undiscovered country.