she has lost her God damned mind.

yes I have

as well as my Yahoo account...

well, threw it away is a more accurate description.

the journey gets darker and the need has come to throw away heavy baggage.

eat clean.

stay lean.

body mind soul

i don't need a bunch of blogs

i don't need to be a member of a bunch of groups

i need to get a focus, a lock and stay with it.

gone are the days of fantasizing about the way I want to look and the life I want to lead and yet go outside my home and do it.

sleep more, study less

live more, worry less

do more, dream less

say more, observe less

you can only do more if you weigh less

body mind soul

when everybody screams and yells....

...who calms them down, who rings their bells...

when everybody screams and yells....

the enchanted one, that's me...



Finding comfort while on my present journey has been in vain.

there is no comfort or joy in must things that are going on now a days...

my children are growing up and asserting their own personalities, trying to build their own lives...

unwanted

my exhusband is trying to assert his desire to return...the allure to able to stay home and leet someone take care of me again is great...but it's wrong.

unsupported

my boyfriend is asserting my individuality and independence, but the pace is much too fast for me to handle...it makes my head spin and my knees weak to have to handle everything alone when I 'm use to having a partner to help with the diffculties of life, work amd children.

uncomforted

I feel like a fifth wheel at my job, not needed...just there to get that task or another finished .

unappriciated

unloved.

frightened.

tired.

and tried.

tried beyond my natural breaking point.

on borrowed time...with bad credit.

I want...

After months of going to school and making a solid A-, I realize that computers are not what I want to do...

I wish I could make films or have a catering business or do anything that would help me create.

I want to make wedding cakes and cookies and candy and make a cable access show about the
process.

I want to make short movies and write short stories about the stuf that still swirl around in my head

I want to make a living doing stuff I love, instead of working to pay for it.

I want Jinge to move in with me

I want my girls to realize that the rules are there for a reason

I want to forgive myself

I want to cry

I want to laugh

I want to leave work right now and go home and sleep.

I want to build my life

and I will

but I need your help.

stay tuned

a girlfriend primer

the biannual visit of the Parents of the Jinge is here and I'm having the strange feeling of deja-vu...

While I'm can call, (and actually did the last time, after blogging that I couldn't) I disturbs me that he still haven't told his parents that we were dating...

asshole... ah hem

So Mr. Hanna:

so now after ripping you a new one, it seems to me that you need a written cheat sheet you can actually have sex without having to yelled at before and after...

-YOUR FORMER GIRLFRIENDS ARE GOING TO GET YOUR RED-HEADED ASS IN A WORLD OF HURT...

just because they screamed, hollered, begged, or bitched to get their way doesn't mean that I am to make you think that I'm serious....

I shouldn't have to do those things...Telling you, even if it does mean repeating myself OCCASIONALLY should be enough...

And saying anything that even starts like "Well, women usually..." or "None of my women I dated before..." is asking to get your ass in trouble.

...if you want to make decisions based on what other women do, date other women.
Leave me alone.

-WANTING YOUR PARENTS TO KNOW THAT I EXIST DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO MARRY YOU!

... it means that I want to get to know them since I plan to have you in my live for a long time... and not have weeks cut out of my life because you're in my life.

...I want you...and believe it or not your parents are part of that package. and i'm glad to have them, because they gave me you.

-REMEMBER THAT I SEE YOU ALOT MORE THAN THEY DO, AND YOU SHOULDN'T BASE YOUR DESIONS ON WHO WILL NAG YOU THE LEAST.

...yes i know that they want to get into your business and try to play the injured party, but when you act like this, I BECOME THE INJURED PARTY AND I WILL ACT LIKE IT!

SO...SACK UP AND TREAT ME LIKE SOMEONE YOU CARE FOR!!!!

i feel better

dismissed.